intelligencelevelfandomcom-20200214-history
Intelligence of Cake
Due to striking new research, it has been shown that cake has intelligence. It is currently unknown, except for speculation, what level of intelligence cake may have. About Cake To explain the concept, Head Researcher Timothy Shninehauser (Xqc13) offers this lecture: "My name is XQC13 (it isn't actually, but XQC13 will do for all online purposes). In reality my name is Timothy Shninehauser (but shhhh... the cops don't know I'm here). Of course reality is all an illusion, as what is real is illusory, and all logic that may dictate otherwise is most definitely right and real and thus invalid. The converse is not true, however, as what is Illusory is simply the entrance into reality of things that are unreal. This entrance validates them as real, and therefore, by our first principle, they are complete nonsense. So when you think about it, my name is not XQC13. Or maybe it is, as since I just said that in a real environment, that would make it an illusion. Really (or not), I don't have a name, as I don't exist, and nor does anyone else that would have need of a name for me. Please don't take this rant as an insult to your existence, but the fact remains that you are a lie. Just like the cake. Of course, since it REALLY was a lie, the cake is then true. By this inference, we can extrapolate to the hypothesis that all that exists is a very large cake. Or perhaps it is just a giant mass of cake, in its indefinite form (after it has been freshly mined, that is). Because really (no, not really, so in this case yes), there are little tiny creatures made of cake that spend all of their time mining cake from the large mass of cake. Productivity is constant, and economic inflation is guaranteed. Prosperity is unequivocal for the cake-folk, and all is a happy paradise. The messed up world that exists (or rather, doesn't) in which we live is just a figment of your imagination, which is in turn a figment of the cake-folks imagination. The flavour of the cake can be determined to be vanilla, with plain white icing (a form of cake that requires special equipment to mine (which is also made of cake)) by the Von Shozz principle. If we let x equal the amount of cake, then x is therefore equal to 67, which it is not, and is therefore 182. By reasoning along an inverted sugar cortex, we can determine that x=6t, where t=54, therefore chocolate is determined to be a kumquat. Through all avenues of logic, strawberry shortcake is the only possible answer, and thus, in complete contradiction of the principle, the only impossible answer is vanilla." Intelligence of Cake In order to be able to carry out tasks such as mining cake, the cake-folk must have an intelligence level greater than 0. Though cake is usually inanimate and does not move, thus making it appear to have an intelligence level of 0, however; do not be confused by its relatively docile appearance. In accordance with the 4 theories of intelligence (one of which has not received content yet), the cake, being not a judge, percussionist, nor kangaroo, cannot have an intelligence level of less than 3. Therefore, it has been determined to this point that cake has an intelligence level of 4 or higher. More experiments must be carried out before we can determine such things as whether or not cake can understand complicated concepts such as intelligence levels, fractions, big words, long words, big long words, etc.